Divorce

One of us just told me about a relative in a distant state who is suddenly in the thralls of divorce.  The relative and his wife had both been very active in their church and had been a counsel to many over the years, but she was having an affair and wanted out.  He was good to sign off on the divorce papers and indicated an interest to get active in dating.  Such is far too typical.

I, however, had a strong reaction to the report.  We should not be surprised when the non-Christian handles marriage, infidelity, divorce and renewed dating in such a way.  We should not be surprised, we should be shocked when Christians do so.  Why?

1. We are a new creation – old has passed away, II Corinthians 5:17.
2. We are not as the world, I Peter 4:4.
3. We are called to forgive, Matthew 6:15.
4. We are called to love our enemies, Matthew 5:44.
5. We are called to be Christ-like who said not to “put asunder”, Matthew 19:6.
6. We are called to be like God, Isaiah 50:1 (where? none!).
7. We are called to be reconcilers, II Corinthians 5:18.
8. We are called to be content with life, Philippians 4:11.
9. We are called to bear, believe, hope, and endure, I Corinthians 13:7.
10. We are called to keep our word/vows, Matthew 5:33.

So, when the man indicated a desire to move on and get to dating again, he was anathema to Godliness.  Might he be a believer?  Yes.  Is he an obedient believer who should expect God’s leading and blessings in the coming days?  No!  This is one of the big reasons the church has lost its voice and impact in the world – it is no different than the world and it gives no room for God to show His power (II Corinthians 12:9).

Another concern is their church.  I know nothing except that I didn’t hear anything about intervention, church discipline and weeping (I Corinthians 5:2).  Maybe they have done all these and the couple persisted in being disobedient and stepping out from under God’s grace to face His fury.  I pray that there is a concerted effort by the believing community to call both parties to pause and ponder their actions.

I turn to what seems so clear to me and that is God’s word about this issue found in I Corinthians 7:10-11, Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband.  But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband.  And a husband is not to divorce his wife.

This is clear to me.  So why the confusion over the issue?  I believe because we go to God’s Word looking to justify our own divorce, or that of a child or a friend.  We seek God’s approval of something He declares He hates (Malachi 2:13-16).  Yet, we want His approval so we labor to find a permission.

Notice that in I Corinthians 7, Paul opens with – “the Lord commands” and follows with; But to the rest I, not the Lord, say… (12).  What this is saying is that Paul is reporting what Jesus taught on the subject.

Wait, what about Matthew 5 and 19 or Mark 10?  Yes, and Jesus said “What God has joined together let not man separate.”  That should settle the issue.  Nope!  They found a passage in the Old Testament that appeared to give permission – Deuteronomy 24.  And Jesus’ response apparently slammed a door on divorce for note the response of His disciples:  “If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry” (19:10).  They saw no exit, rather a permanency.  What if she is immoral?  The story of Hosea!

So, what did Jesus teach?  Let’s consider what Jesus taught as recorded in I Corinthians 7:10-11:

1. The wife is not to leave her husband.
2. If life is truly endangered, the wife (and children) is permitted to leave.
3. If she leaves, she has only two options: remain single or return to her husband.
4. The husband cannot divorce his wife – period!  No options!  The man, representing Jesus (Ephesians 5:23, 25), gave his word to her before God who holds him to it just as He gives and fully keeps His word to us.

While the path – being reconciled – is long, steep, frustrating, and painful; it is the path of Godliness and a powerful witness to a dying culture.  May both parties referred to in the beginning seek God’s will forward.  May we grasp God’s will and do it!

Another point:  Singleness is not sin and not a second-class Christian.  If single, accept it and rejoice in it.