Rosemond on Children

John Rosemond (April 1, 2019, Omaha World Herald) writing in response to the recent college entrance scandal where-by celebrities were buying entrance into elite schools for their children. Some quotes from his article:

There are three factors at work here:

First, parents and children in question…believe they are entitled…believe three things that until recently were reserved to European royalty, toddlers, criminals, and career politicians.

1. What I want I deserve to have.
2. Because I deserve it, the ends justify the means.
3. The rules do not apply to me because I am special (semi-divine, if you must know).

This mentality, which began to spread in the 1970’s as America’s collective parenting goal shifted from instilling self-responsibility and the work ethic – as in, preserving culture – to fostering success and happiness. That shift accounts of the dramatic increase over the same period of children and teens in therapy and on psychiatric medications.

Second, the ongoing encroach of entitlement has been accompanied by the post-modern notion that high esteem…finds permanent lodging in their kids.
The mental health community tied self-esteem to achievement, so parents got busy helping their children achieve…When is the last time you heard someone brag about their child’s manners…character…morals?

Third, parent-child co-dependency has also become ubiquitous in recent years, a symptom of which is parents who, when their kids do bad things at school, deny they are culprits or could even be culprits. Today’s parents feel their children’s pain (as opposed to understanding why their kids are in pain and, after offering helpful suggestion, wish them well with it). When you feel someone else’s “pain,” you enter into their reality. At that point, you become their personal enabler. Parents who are in co-dependent relationships with their kids are beyond being helicopters, they are now called lawn-mower (they mow down discomforts and challenges for their children) and snow-plow parents (go ahead of their child removing all hindrances and making sure their child does not fail to do as they have been told – they call them at college to make sure they are up to make it to class on time).

PK here – Did you grab this from point one: parenting used to be about teaching self-responsibility and work ethic? And from point two: parenting used to be about teaching manners, character, and morals? Too many parents are pouring tons into their kids hoping they are happy and are successful. While those are not bad goals, they should have a back seat – a far back seat – to the previous noted goals.