A Distressed Bible

Janet and I went to church with a nephew, Jacob, on Sunday in the South so obviously it was time for a chicken dinner.  We enjoyed a fabulous lunch of chicken tenders and Mac and Cheese (Janet had a waffle and tenders).

Jacob noted that he had sent a write-up to the Babylon Bee on a couple of occasions but received no response.  He told me his idea which tickled my fancy, so I asked if I could work his idea up.  Here it is:

Have you noted the fad of pre-torn jeans, stone washed jeans, or distressed jeans?  It is popular to wear new clothing that appears old.  So why not offer a new Bible that looks well worn?

On opening the box you immediately note the cover is smudged and scratched with the edges roughed up.  Apparently this Bible has been around for a while.

Removing the Bible, you note the wording on the spine is nearly worn off looking as though it has endured much use.

Further inspection reveals the page edges worn and the gold leaf nearly gone, but not completely.

So you walk into church impressing all who note your Bible.  Surely, you are a serious Bible student!  Kudos to you!

Now, if someone picks up your brand new Bible and looks inside – also impressive!

One will quickly note some pages dog-eared and some pages seem more worn than others.

Inside the front cover are listed favorite verses such as Hosea 14:5 and Lamentations 5:1.

And you will find the name and dedication page filled out possibly noting your great, great, great Puritan pastor grandfather.  And the genealogy page is already filled out listing family on both sides back four generations.

Then thumbing through the pages of text, one will find many verses underlined and even some passages highlighted.  Oh, and in the margins, many hand written notes and occasionally there is a quote from a famous Christian father.

Also to be found tucked in the pages are a couple of bookmakers with rich and deep poems and sayings.  There are also a few 1/2 page inserts of profound thoughts by famous men such as Luther, Owen, and Whitefield.

In the back pages are lists of promises, key verses, salvation plans, and other very important tools for serving God and others.

Thus, right out of the box, a new Bible that immediately shows you to be a serious Bible student and thus more spiritual than many!  I think there are many who would gladly spend $120 for such a status symbol.  You